exodus

lilipat na si bossing sa ibang department. probably most of us are celebrating, but there's a part of me that's mourning as well.

while it's true that she's got quite a chunk of a role in giving me stress at work, without a doubt, i also owe a lot to her. she's pushed me out of my comfort zone. she made me do stuff not within my expertise and that made me learn more, do more. i've done things i didn't know i'm capable of doing. she threw me to the fire and kept striking until i'm spread thin. and i didn't realize it then, but it made me sharp. i had my moments when i simply crumble with stress. it must be true then... break before you build.

because she believed in my abilities, i got to go on a business trip to one of our client's headquarters and represent my dev team. i became the go-to person for the POS stuff. i led my first project under her direction, and now leading my second one. i was promoted to a senior-senior position. i got into an illustrious Dale Carnegie class. now that i think about it, my career moved forward faster under her rein. i have a lot to thank her for.

during her "reign", we were bombarded with work, and it didn't help that our headcount was dwindling then. but i have to give it to her for not giving up on us. she wasn't perfect, but neither were we. nor our codes. =) when we make a slip, she also takes the heat. it's a vicious cycle really. when one is stressed, more mistakes were committed. and when there are mistakes, we get stressed. but we managed to survive. and for someone who doesn't really do coding, i'd say she held up pretty well being out on the front line during status meetings and reports to the powers that be.

we might have a better relationship with her now that she won't be our immediate boss. the tension, (too much) formality, and all preconceived ideas will be gone. i'm actually happy for her that she's moving on up. it might be a good move on her part, since i believe the position she'll be moving up to is her forte. it's just too bad that there's a possibility she might be heading out to retire soon.

i had a meeting with her this afternoon, and i dunno what came over me but i was more at ease with her now. it must be the DC classes taking effect over me, or it's just that i know she's also human after all. imperfect, struggling, not high up in the pedestal. i regret having those preconceived ideas about her. i should've reached out more. i shoulda, woulda, coulda.

and i never thought i'd be saying this, but i will actually miss her. good luck and God bless.