best wishes

a friend got married recently. same church, same hotel... where i had my own wedding and reception.

while i should be jumping for joy, i couldn't even lift a finger to give that friend a ring. simply because i'm hurting that i wasn't even aware she got married. i considered her one of my closest friends, one of my sisters-at-heart if you will. if you were in my shoes, you would at least expect to be told, if not invited, right?

for the sake of a friendship, what is a short email? a text message? a friendster message? i could accept a "hey bitch, i'm getting married! you're not invited!". but nothing. even days after the event, i haven't heard from her. i got the news on 3rd string already. someone who told someone, who told someone, who told me.

i've been nursing this bitterness since this morning, it turned into anger, and then disbelief. but as the day comes to a close, it's being replaced by sadness. sadness that after years of friendship, i came to a realization that i am not as important to her, as she is to me.

she may have her reasons for what she did (or didn't do, actually), did she look at our friendship as too shallow to comprehend whatever that reason was?

i don't burn bridges unless it's the other party who wants me to walk out of their lives. i can take a hint. sure i feel sad, but i also feel thankful that it draws the contrast of who my real friends are... that after so many misunderstandings, fights and unpleasant emotional rollercoaster rides, they still find a tender spot in their hearts to consider me important in their lives. for these people, i am very thankful.

anyways, i hope my "friend" gets to read this....

i wish you a happy married life, a beautiful family, and a wonderful future. but above all, i wish you'd find peace within yourself, so you won't have to run away from your own ghosts.