how low can you go?

walang pakielamanan ng buhay!

that's exactly what i wanted to tell an officemate from hell. nagpunta dito sa cube ko ang mokong a few minutes ago, asking about something na hindi naman ako ang gumawa. saktong karereply ko lang sa isang email sa akin sa gmail, so naka-open pa don yung browser ko. politely, sabi ko, di ko alam kung anong nagbago sa codes na tinatanong nya kasi di ko naman ginamit yon, yung offshore ang gumalaw non.

the source codes he was referring to belongs to a project na sya ang nag-head a couple of years ago. the client wants something more, so babaguhin namin yung codes nyang bulok! he's now on a different project, so sa amin napunta yung work ticket na yon. kahit hindi na sya kasali sa team for that work ticket, nakiki-epal pa rin sya kasi "alam nya lahat" about it.

tinanong nya ko kung busy ako, and even before i answered, sabi nya "oh maybe not". tapos tinanong nya ko kung kaya ko daw mag-connect sa shared drives sa network, kasi sila daw hindi maka-login. sabi ko oo, then opened the windows explorer. saktong dating naman ng tech lead ko. then tinanong ako nung pabibong officemate ko, "have you run those codes through doxygen?". sabi ko hindi. eh kasi naman hindi pa naman approved yung changes ng offshore, so wala pa sa repository namin. sabay sabi ba naman saken, in a really loud voice, "you haven't done that yet? what were you doing with all your time all these days?", sabay tawa.

i felt all my blood rush to my head. i'm sure people 2-3 cubes away from mine heard it. i opened my mouth to rebutt, pero ang lumabas lang "it's not in the repository yet". which actually makes sense. dahil bakit naman ako mag-aaksaya ng panahon kung hindi pa naman approved yung codes. mamaya yun ang ginagamit kong reference tapos mali naman pala. eh di lalong gumulo yung research ko, di ba? if i will use something as reference, dapat officially approved na. else, i will have to redo research kung mali pala yon.

my head was throbbing with anger, pero i kept my poise at pinakita ko sa kanya yung codes. all those times andun yung tech lead ko. after looking at the codes, nagdiscuss sila ng tech lead ko, pero walang pumapasok sa isip ko. he asked me again, "what are you going to use for your changes?" sabi ko na lang, "the same codes, once they are approved". then they left, still discussing something.

naiinis ako sa sarili ko for not getting back at him! i just hope na ma-realize ng tech lead ko, na i just submitted two work tickets for code review since tuesday. yun ang pinagkaka-abalahan ko. plus setting up the 2 messed up development boxes, a stupid thermal printer, and troubleshooting the other codes that the offshore team submitted, which were not working, by the way. kung hindi ko ni-troubleshoot yon, ilalagay nila on the field with that bug? WHAT'S KEEPING ME BUSY?!

*sighs*

karma, please help. if you have big plans for me, it better be worth this rotten feeling i have now. i wanted to redeem myself, but i didn't do it nung andun na yung chance. naiinis ako kasi hindi ako nakapag-comeback na reply. kung bakit ba naman kasi, tuwing dadaan dito sa area namin yon, nakikita nyang nage-email ako sa gmail or yahoo. feeling nya tuloy wala akong ginagawa. eh sa lagi akong nagco-compile pag dumadaan sya eh! alangan naman i'd pretend to be busy kung di naman talaga.

i hate the feeling na nasabihan ako ng ganon. first time atang na-accuse ako na tamad or nagbubulakbol at work. i know minsan hindi ko agad sinisimulan yung trabaho ko, pero once i get started, hindi ko iniiwang nakabitin.

ang nakakainis pa don, yung isang newbie, yun ang tamad talaga. gets to work late, leaves early. tapos nahuhuli ko pa yung natutulog or nanonood lang ng videos sa internet. minsan nga ang lakas pa ng audio nya, tapos tatawa ng malakas. he's also notorious for using the company phone to follow up his utility bills. bakit naman ganon?! i play by the rules. email at blog lang naman ang bisyo ko sa work eh, in between compiling and running my programs pa. hindi ako nagsusurf sa internet pag may work ticket ako. or i do that WHILE having lunch.

naiinis lang talaga ako. i feel like i've just put some unnecessary pressure on myself to prove him wrong. argh!

don't get mad, get even? but how low should i stoop down just to get even? kainis talaga!!!