first half of my "going home"

my almost month-long vacation was divided into two halves... a sad half, and a fun half.... this is the sad half.

At the hospital
i would rather not post anything about tatay's last few days, pero for posterity's sake, isasama ko na rin dito. i got home sa pinas morning ng march 11. from the airport, nag-drive through lang kami sa jollibee para bumili ng breakfast, then diretso na kami sa hospital. tatay looked peaceful, although alam mong nahihirapan na rin ang katawan nya. but his face doesn't have any trace of regret or remorse or anything negative. he looked so peaceful, that when i went to his bedside, i didn't feel heavy at heart. i only felt loneliness that tatay might not wake up to see us one more time, but there's something about the way he looked that makes it all a little easier for all of us.

that afternoon of march 11, nakumpleto ang family namin... all my aunts and uncles in one small room... room 633 ng hospital to be specific. ngayon lang ulet nangyari yon since 1983. just like in my previous post, there was a moment of silence and tears, and then there was chaos. masaya lahat, kasi asaran talaga. pati si abby (eibron's gf), di pinatawad ng mga tita at tito ko, talagang inaasar! hehehe!

nung nasa hospital si tatay, some of my friends were able to pay him a visit... tenten, rommel and borj. the rest of the folks sent their regards through email, texts and phone calls. i'm so blessed to have friends who stick with you no matter what. =)

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At the wake
tatay bid goodbye on mommy letty's bday, march 14. he definitely doesn't want to be forgotten, especially by mommy. he passed away that afternoon. that same night, dumating na ang body nya sa bahay namin sa karapatan. i missed the time na binaba sya at nilagay sa naka-setup. natulog kasi muna ako eh. ginising ako nila papa then pumunta na ko sa karapatan. when i saw the casket, i still couldn't believe it. nagmano muna ako sa mga kapatid ni tatay na nandun, then lumapit na ko. there were no tears. pero nung naupo na ko sa loob ng bahay nila mommy letty at nakita ko si mommy, naiyak na ko. i excused myself and naghilamos. pagbalik ko, ok na ko. i realized andun na rin pala yung mga tito and tita ko from tatay's siblings.

the days went by ok. uneventful naman. nakadalaw sa wake sila borj, rommel, zced at liz. most of my friends sent condolences sa email at text. yung iba hindi ko na nasabihan dahil sobrang dami ng inaasikaso at sa bilis na rin ng mga pangyayari.

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At the cemetery

morning of march 17, we got ready na para sa interment.

papuntang cemetery, nakasakay kami sa van ng isang tita ko, i rode with mama, mommy letty and tita hannah. i was like the designated nurse to the 3, dahil lahat sila may high blood pressure. my cousins walked behind the service car, the others i'm not sure how they got to the cemetery.

there were no services at the cemetery, just some final goodbyes, final kisses, final hugs, final "mano". it's always a sad scene seeing a beloved get sealed in a casket. but it's inevitable. tears flowed and you can hear wailings, the sadness is just too much to be captured in words. *sigh*

we went back to our house in karapatan for some snacks. there were a lot of people who went back with us. by noon, most of them have left. and we were left to ourselves, the family. it seems like life was back to normal.

but we all know it will never be normal again. someone is missed.


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